Networking for Shy People (You can do it!)

Do Your Homework. If you’re planning on attending an event, see if you can find out who else is attending.  Take some time beforehand to check sites like LinkedIn and Facebook, and learn a little about the people on the guest list.  Where do they work?  What do they do in their spare time?  Do they have a familly?  This gives you somewhere to start when conversation starts.

Shy People are Great Listeners. Don’t want to carry the conversation?  That’s perfectly fine.  If there’s one thing lacking in today’s world, it’s a great listener.  Think of the few times you’ve found someone to really hear what you have to say.  It’s memorable, isn’t it?  You don’t forget someone who’s truly interested in your thoughts and ideas.  And what happens when you sit back and let someone else talk?  They tell you all kinds of fascinating things. When you listen, you move from the level of “casual acquaintance” to “confidante”. You’ll get to know them better, and they WILL remember you because you took the time.  

Prepare for Conversational Lags.  There’s nothing worse than conversing with someone for the first time and hitting what I call the “elevator lag”.  You know that uncomfortable silence in an elevator where everyone stares at the numbers on the wall?  Yeah, that happens outside elevators everyday too.  And it’s enough to finish the conversation for good, but if you keep a few questions in mind, you can waylay the silence.  Try questions about their kids, pets, hobbies or workplace.  Try to avoid the yes/no questions or you’ll be right back in the elevator staring at the little numbers.

Seek Out Other Shy Networkers. No one wants to stand around a social function all alone.  If you spot someone hanging around the periphery of the room looking uncomfortable or attempting to look busy, they’re probably hoping against hope that someone will talk to them first.  If you’re not very comfortable starting conversation, another shy person is a great way to start.  You’ll find they’re so grateful you took the time to say hello that you may find the easiest conversation of the event occurs with them!

Arming yourself with a few tactics like the ones above can turn an uncomfortable networking situation into something you may just start looking forward to.  Remember, being shy doesn’t have to hold you back from making some great connections who may just turn out to be great friends as well!