General Motivation Blog » motivational

How We Change: Driving With the Brakes On

admin — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 12:52:13 +0000

- by Margaret Moore

It is rare today to find someone who isn’t struggling with some aspect of health and well-being: stress, overwhelm, low energy, weight fluctuation (mostly upward), health, etc. I am writing this series of brief pieces to offer insights on what it takes to get over and beyond such struggles, changing or even transforming on a small or large scale. I get as much out of writing these pieces as anyone reading them – we all need regular doses of new inspiration and ideas. Fortunately, the knowledge base on how we change is ever growing.

My first piece last month started on motivation and in particular the importance of the inside out approach — finding one’s heartfelt desire for a life improvement that serves as the light in dark moments. The brighter the better. This burning desire helped a schizophrenic woman get out of a psychiatric hospital and onto her feet living independently as a manicurist, enjoying the satisfaction of producing prettily painted finger and toenails. While there is much more to share on motivation, it isn’t wise to do that until we bring into the picture a second and equally important dimension: our confidence in being successful at whatever it is we want to change.

Whether you think you can or think you can’t you’re right – Henry Ford

When we really want to do something, and we also really believe that we can do it, the synergy of motivation and confidence creates an upward spiral that is unstoppable. However, self-doubts (AKA “I can’t do it”) stop us in our tracks. While good intentions abound, we drive with the brakes on when our confidence is low. A famous coach, Dave Buck, once said that what draws a client to a coach is that the coach’s certainty is greater than the client’s doubt. Confidence is often the missing ingredient on the road to change.

So even though I would have loved to win an Olympic medal in cross- country skiing in my 20s and I love the feeling of a strong rhythmic glide through snow, I did not have the requisite physical talent. So my confidence in succeeding was a zero out of 10, taking my motivation to zero too. Most smokers really want to quit smoking but they doubt their ability to break both the physical and psychological addiction, borne out by failed attempts. So instead of keeping the motivational fire lit, they light a cigarette, enjoying the temporary bliss of a mindful moment while feeling badly that they lack the confidence needed to quit for good.

In the medical expert model, health professionals have long focused on providing knowledge and advice. While knowledge is valuable and it can increase both motivation and confidence, it is just a start. One of the reasons that most people regain the weight they lose within two years of dieting is that while they worked diligently to lose weight, they didn’t grow the skills and confidence needed to maintain their lighter weight. Many invest in personal training sessions and learn how to lift weights safely, adding strength and tone, but don’t gain the skills and confidence to work out on their own.

I am coaching a client named Susan who has Stage IV breast cancer, and when we started she had come close to giving up on forging a new life. She first decided to commit to finding and following a new life purpose, tentatively at first. Having had a long career in commercial real estate, reinventing her professional life at age 50 seemed way outside her comfort zone. Susan took some initial steps with an open mind and carefully recruited a supportive social network, attending diligently to keeping her fears at bay. She boldly reached out to a national conference on integrative oncology and soon had created a team and vision to start a nonprofit and raise funds to allow cancer patients to get access to resources to support thriving, just as Susan is modeling. Susan’s motivation outpaced her confidence initially. And then by breaking the journey into small steps that worked well, her confidence caught up within a few months. Even her bone tumors have regressed, enhancing her confidence further. Now Susan is unstoppable.

Whether we’re getting fit, learning how to meditate or cook or developing a new track in life, it’s important to build both confidence and motivation, so like Susan we’re driving to wellness without the brakes on.

Author Bio: Margaret Moore (Coach Meg) writes for the Huffington Post. She is a personal coach in health care.

Sticking Your Neck Out: Discover the Top 7 Ways to Reach Your Peak Performance

admin — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 15:19:33 +0000

Today’s article is by Olympic Gold Medalist Nikki Stone. She is a motivational speaker and the author of the new book “When Turtles Fly: Secrets of Successful People Who Know How to Stick their Necks Out”. We appreciate her sharing some of the secrets of what makes a person overcome great obstacles to achieve the unimaginable. After overcoming a debilitating injury and going on to be the first to win an Olympic gold medal in aerial skiing, her advice is definitely worth more than gold.

Sticking Your Neck Out: Discover the Top 7 Ways to Reach Your Peak Performance

As a motivational speaker for Fortune 500 companies and an Olympic gold medalist, I have seen what makes an individual most successful in the boardroom and on the slopes. Over the last five years, I have researched the similarities of forty different highly-successful individuals — including the likes of Tommy Hilfiger, Prince Albert of Monaco, Dr. Stephen Covey, Shaun White and many more. And no matter the field or endeavor, I have found The Turtle Effect philosophy at the core of everyone’s success.

This philosophy was taught to me by my mother, who told me that I could achieve anything I wanted. I always held it close and adapted it to every situation I encountered. I’d like to help people breathe in this confidence and share the secrets that are common to those at the top of their given field.

1. Have a Soft Inside – let your heart drive your actions

Find Your Passion: Do the things you hate first so you can truly get pleasure from the parts of your job and day that you are most passionate about. First thing in the morning write down five things you don’t like to do. Do each before 11:00 a.m., and check off that you’ve done them. Doing the thing you hate most will allow you to spend the rest of the day or week focusing on the things you enjoy the most.

2. Develop Your Hard Shell – stay strong against life’s challenges

Enhance Your Focus: Try to complete a task or project today as well as you can — without looking at others for approval. Can you bring something to fruition without worrying about the outcome? If you do feel you have to see your “results”, compare them to your own past efforts rather than to what someone else has achieved.

Be Committed: Either give yourself a challenge or challenge a colleague, teammate or friend to decide on a certain goal with you. Write the challenge down on an index card and tape it to the wall to remind yourself of your goal. This commitment will make you accountable to your goals and responsible for your actions.

Overcoming Adversities: Ask yourself, “If I knew I couldn’t fail, what would I try?” After you answer this question, ask yourself why it would be so awful to fail at the task or activity. We learn much more from our failures than we learn from our accomplishments.

3. Be Willing to Stick Your Neck Out – put yourself out there and find the support to make sure you follow through

Build Your Confidence: We all have our strong points and we need to remind ourselves of these attributes. Create a list today of all the personal traits that give you confidence. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and knowing your strengths will help you compensate for your shortcomings.

Start Taking Risks: We can’t be afraid of failure. If you don’t try, you have already failed. Why not give yourself the chance to succeed? Pick something that scares you a bit, and decide you are going to take the risk to follow through with it today.

Find Your Teamwork: A support system is crucial in helping you develop a strong character. Go out today and ask a few close friends how they would describe you. If they define you only in terms of your accomplishments, take the time to show them who you are in terms of your relationships. Think about the things you may be doing to project a title rather than a personality, and correct that.

I find that the same factors work to put someone at the top of their game, whether you are a triumphant athlete, Fortune 500 CEO, an accomplished politician, successful educator, or even an effective parent.

I hope these tips help you find your Turtle Effect and encourage you to strive for levels once thought impossible.

Author Bio
At the Olympic Winter Games in Nagano, Japan, Nikki Stone became America’s first-ever Olympic champion in the sport of aerial skiing. What made this performance so unbelievable was the fact that, less than two years earlier, a chronic spinal injury prevented her from standing, much less walking or skiing off a twelve-foot-tall snow jump that launches aerialists fifty feet into the air. She overcame the injury and went on to earn 35 World Cup medals, 11 World Cup titles, 4 national titles, 3 World Cup titles, a World Championship title, and membership in the Ski Hall of Fame. Nikki is also a magna cum laude graduate of Union College and a summa cum laude masters graduate of the University of Utah. Her aerial retirement is less than restful as she trains Olympic athletes and business professionals in speaking/media skills, coaches personal and professional development courses, hosts group skiing adventures, sits on five different charitable committees, and writes articles and columns for many magazines, newspapers, and websites. Nikki’s career focus is now on traveling around the world working as a sought-after motivational speaker, sharing her secrets to success by inspiring her business audiences to “Stick their necks out.” Every spare moment is spent with husband, Michael Spencer, and daughter, Zali, in Park City, Utah.

Nikki is the author of When Turtles Fly: Secrets of Successful People Who Know How To Stick Their Necks Out. For more information, please visit www.WhenTurtlesFly.com.